Cold Heart
by PierDreams
Summary: My heart is your heart; it doesn't beat when we're apart. Rated T for violence.
1. My Sweet Agony

Skulduggery watched from the armchair as his partner rolled over on his sofa, snuggling deeper into the cushions and pulling the covers higher up over her body. Valkyrie Cain mumbled something that sounded like a name. He saw a smile curl across her lips.

"Morning," he called to awaken her. She stretched happily and yawned. All of a sudden she sat bolt upright and shrieked, eyes wide open. She noticed Skulduggery and shrieked again.

"What the heck are you doing here! Get out of my room! Why are you watching me!"

He tilted his head in a smile. "You just happen to be in my living room in my house."

She looked around. "Oh. I thought I was at home. Sorry."  
"That's okay. Good dream?"  
"What? Oh," she said, voice dropping. She looked down and didn't answer, instead climbing off of the couch.

"What are you wearing?" he asked in an incredulous voice.  
"This?"  
He stared at her.  
"That's _my_ dress shirt."  
Valkyrie shrugged. "I needed something to sleep in."  
"Those shirts are _exquisite_ though. They're of Egyptian cotton. Very expensive."  
"It was lying on the floor of your closet."  
"I was going to fold it."  
"I promise I didn't drool too much on it." She winked and began to walk away to the bathroom.  
"I can't believe you're walking around wearing only my shirt."  
"Stop staring, you perv," she called over her shoulder.  
"I wasn't -"  
"You're acting guilty. I know you were."  
He sighed.

Inside the bathroom, Valkyrie leaned back against the door. Her whole body shook. She buried her head in her hands, grinding her palms into her eyes.

_That damn dream. _Valkyrie closed her eyes tightly and shook her head, trying to clear away the images.

Caelan.

Damnit.

Why did he come back in this dream? And so vividly. A sudden wave of horror and nausea hit her. What if it wasn't a dream? She gagged and ran to the mirror, checking for any sign that it was physical.

Her mind turned back to the dream. She had been lying with him, their bodies tight together, and his cool hands stroking her skin. She had shivered with pleasure, and turned to kiss him, feeling his strength under her fingers as she touched his chest. Caelan had smiled lightly, and kissed her back.

She had been so deliriously happy.

Valkyrie's stomach heaved with revulsion at herself. She lunged at the toilet bowl and hung there, retching.

"You okay?" called Skulduggery through the door.

"I'm fine," she yelled back.

Valkyrie got up with a groan and washed out her mouth. She dropped Skulduggery's shirt on the ground and stepped into the shower. Valkyrie turned to face the water, closed her eyes, and let the water stream down her body. She ran a hand through her hair, then reached down and turned the water temperature to maximum, letting its searing heat burn away the memory of his cold skin against hers.

Skulduggery grabbed a bowl, spoon, and package of cereal and laid them out in a line on the counter. As an afterthought, he added a package of powdered milk. Then he pulled out a stool from the other side of the island and sat down.

The electric light shone into his eye sockets. As he adjusted his hat, he thought of Valkyrie. Her strange behavior was concerning him. First the screaming, then the retching and the fake way that she reassured him that she was alright. He also realized that she had never actually told him what her dream was about. When he asked her, she had looked sad and..._scared_.

Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe none of this meant anything. Skulduggery sighed again.

"What are you sighing about?" asked Valkyrie as she poured the cereal he had put out into the bowl. She scowled at the powdered milk but cautiously added a few spoonfuls.

"Just was sighing about how satisfied I am to be as amazing as I am." Valkyrie snorted. "How are you feeling?"

She turned to the sink and ran some cold water into her bowl. Her voice was tight as she spoke. "I'm fine."

Skulduggery pushed further. "Not feeling nauseous anymore?"

She reached for a spoon and stirred the cereal. "No." Valkyrie supported the bowl with one hand and continued mixing as she walked to the island. Skulduggery noticed that her hand shook slightly.

"What do you think caused that -"

"God, Skulduggery, stop!" She slammed the bowl down on the counter. A little cereal slopped over the edge onto its surface.

Angrily, she shoved a spoonful in her mouth. "This is disgusting," she mumbled around the sludgy mess.

"The proper milk went off about a week ago."

Valkyrie grumbled a little.

Skulduggery watched her in silence for a few minutes as she ate. Finally, he broke the quiet by briefing her on their next case. "Ghastly called this morning, early. There've been some strange reports coming in. We wouldn't necessarily have been involved, but these are unusually regular, around a thirty mile perimeter - with its epicenter in Haggard."

He watched her tense up. Valkyrie pushed her hair back behind her shoulders and her face took on a look of intense concentration and wariness. "So let me get this right. They're in a ring around my hometown? Right where my family lives?" she clarified in a dark voice.

"Indeed. Nearly an exact semi circle touching the sea at both sides and encircling the village."  
"What kinds of reports, then?"  
"Writing. Words, scratched into the walls of mortals' homes. Certain specific items going missing. Men and women, gone for days and then returning with varying stages of amnesia."

Valkyrie frowned, a small crease appearing between her eyebrows as she took in all of the information.

"Oh, and also vampires."

Her face blanched. Her spoon stilled on its way to her mouth, and she hung there for a moment, gazing at him in horror.

Then she dropped her spoon into the bowl with a clatter. Valkyrie swept it up, dropped it in the sink and practically ran out of the kitchen, yelling a vague excuse about having left an unidentified object somewhere.

Skulduggery tilted his head curiously. He knew that Valkyrie was still sensitive about vampires being mentioned due to her past relations with one, but that one was dead now. Skulduggery growled at the thought of Caelan and his attack on Valkyrie just prior to his demise.

More logically, her fear might be of Dusk. He had nearly killed her multiple times, and was still on the loose.

That didn't change the fact that something was up with his partner.

Valkyrie sat on the ground by the couch and watched her fingers tremble. This couldn't be happening. First the dream, the oh-so-realistic dream. And now the sightings of vampires.

She rested her head against the sofa and tried to think logically. It could just be a coincidence, only by chance. That was most likely what had happened. Almost certainly. No matter how much her dream with Caelan had seemed real, it wasn't...it couldn't be.

She heard footsteps in the hall and made a pretense of searching under the couch.

"Any luck?" came Skulduggery's voice. She hid her face in what she was doing. "None yet."  
"What are you looking for?"  
"My uh...my uh...necromancer ring," she fumbled.  
"It's on your finger," he pointed out suspiciously.  
She mentally kicked herself. "Ha. Ha. I didn't notice that."  
She felt him sit down next to her. Valkyrie pulled her head out from under the couch reluctantly.

"I'm not going to pry. If you want to talk to me, I'm always here for you. If you don't, I'll respect your privacy. I'll try to. At least for a while. But I'm going to give you time."

She peeked at him through her hair. He was looking at her, seated with his hands on his bent knees.

She felt her heart melt for him, and she leaned against him, resting her head against his shoulder. His arm went around her waist.

They stayed like that for a while, not speaking, just sitting.

Finally, she stood up. "Well, we should start up if we're ever going to get there." She walked to the front door and stood in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection. She looked scared and tired and small.

Skulduggery joined her. She watched him through the mirror. "Can I ask you a question?" He nodded. She took a deep breath. "I was here all night, for sure?"

He looked at her strangely.  
"Yes."  
"Definitely?"  
"As sure as I can be given the fact that I didn't watch you all night."  
Valkyrie took a breath. "Okay." Immediately, she could feel herself relaxing.

*************  
Skulduggery got into the Bentley and closed the door softly. He slid his hands across the leather and admired the sleek, flowing shapes. No matter how long he had this car, he always would appreciate its spectacular beauty.

Valkyrie slipped into the passenger seat and buckled up. Skulduggery pulled away from the curb and accelerated down Cemetery Road. He reached into the door compartment, pulled out a map, and tossed it at Valkyrie. She unfolded it and studied the markings of the reports, noticing the perfect arc that they followed, and the dot centered over Haggard.

"I never asked," she wondered aloud, "what are these words and missing objects you mentioned earlier?"  
"The same few items have been taken from every house: electric light bulbs from all of the sockets in the house, silver cutlery...oh, and flowers either hacked out of the window boxes or snatched from vases."

Valkyrie shook her head incredulously. "We always get the oddest cases, don't we," she mumbled.

Skulduggery continued. "As for the words, we're not sure what they mean. Both individual words and phrases appear carved into walls of the homes of the victims, and apparently by hand. Or rather by claw."

She shivered. _Vampire claws_. Those things were nasty and didn't feel good when they were raked across your skin. "And they say?"

"Seemingly random things." He pulled his phone out of his suit jacket and passed it to her. "In the photo gallery." Valkyrie opened up the app and browsed through a series of photos detailing the evidence.

The first picture showed a small child's bedroom. A cot covered in a variety of stuffed animal toys appeared in the corner of the frame. The wall paint had a border depicting Peter Rabbit. She smiled, then turned her focus to the wall in question, zooming in the photo.

Something had gouged long, vicious swipes into the drywall, wrecking the sweetness and innocence of the scene. The two words carved this way read 'good doggy.' Her brow creased, and she swiped to the next image.

A similar level of violence had been turned upon the steel garage door, renting the metal all the way through: 'my.'

Valkyrie continued moving through the photos as Skulduggery accelerated onto the motorway. She scrolled through a few more. As she came to the last one, the air around her seemed to turn icy, and expanded, choking off her air supply. Valkyrie stared in horror as she pieced together the three words that screamed at her.

'My sweet agony.'

* * *

**So here goes. Chapter One of my next story. Credits and thanks and a hug go to justrockzyxxx for this idea! (: **

**OK. This story? I hope you've read Death Bringer. 'Good doggy,' and of course 'my sweet agony' are all ripped from conversations that Valkyrie and Caelan had while she was cheating with him on Fletcher. Bad idea, Val, bad idea. **

**Well I hope you enjoyed this... btw I don't own any of these characters. You know that ;)**

**Please rate&review, PM me, favorite/follow, or review! Let me know that I have an audience! Anything you say means so much to me. xx**


	2. Between Dreams and Reality

_**Psssst... a line means a swap in POV in this chapter. It starts in Skulduggery's POV...**_

* * *

Skulduggery Pleasant drew the Bentley up next to the house and parked smoothly. After activating his facade, he opened the door of the car and stepped out, walking to the front of the car and starting up the garden path. He waited for the slam of a car door, but none came.

Valkyrie was still sitting in her seat, staring blankly out of the windshield. Skulduggery rapped on her window. She jumped.

"We're here."  
"Oh. Right. Sorry." She climbed out of the vehicle and joined him to walk to the front door. Skulduggery pressed the doorbell, then turned to look at her, but she pretended not to notice.

"Hello. You must be the blokes from the police force," came a timid elderly voice as the door swung open. A small, shriveled, old woman with white hair stood on the step and attempted a smile. Her eyes looked red and swollen from crying, and a knotted tissue was clutched in her hand.

"Good day, madam," greeted Skulduggery, his voice soft and comforting. "My name is Detective Inspector Me, and this is my partner Valerie. May we come in?"

The mortal woman accepted the unusual name without comment, and stepped aside, gesturing for them to enter.

Skulduggery took off his hat and crossed the sill into her house.

* * *

Valkyrie tore her mind away from the matters pressing her mind and turned her attention to the poor grandma standing before her. The woman looked simply heartbroken, and Valkyrie felt for her.

The little old lady led them inside her quaint cottage, while Valkyrie shut the door behind them. The whole place was lit with flickering candles.

"I'm ever so sorry for the mess, I haven't gotten around to cleaning yet, and haven't been up to the shop to replace all of the light bulbs," apologized the lady.  
"That's quite alright, Mrs..."  
"Oh me! I've been so rude. My name is Sheri Watts."  
"Thank you, Mrs. Watts," Skulduggery's facade smiled. "In fact, I'm very glad that you haven't cleaned up anything yet. We'd like to take a look around. And then, if possible, we want to speak with Mr. Watts."

Mrs. Watts face crumpled, and Valkyrie found herself wanting to run and hug the elderly lady. "Of course, Detective. He'll be in the kitchen." Then she dashed off, tears welling in her eyes.

"That was awful," said Valkyrie softly. "That poor lady. Why is she so sad?"  
Skulduggery started up the stairs. "Her husband was the most recent case of kidnapping. He was returned a week ago, but he has a case of nearly complete amnesia. He doesn't remember what happened to him, let alone what his own name is."

Valkyrie gasped and covered her mouth. "So he doesn't remember Sheri?"  
He shook his head. She felt horrible for Mrs. Watts.

Skulduggery led her into a small room at the top of the stairs, on the third floor. The wooden boards squeaked under her feet as she stepped into the child's room from the first photograph. In person, the words scraped into the wall were even more unsettling.

"Before you ask: no, the Watts don't have a dog," Skulduggery informed her.

Valkyrie felt sick to her heart. She could place these words now, to a conversation held between herself and Caelan. _"Never call me your sweet agony again,"_ she had told him. **_"Good doggy."_** Here in her hands, she held the possible key to solving this case, and yet she couldn't tell Skulduggery.

The self-hate and nausea returned with a force, and Valkyrie clamped her hand over her mouth, breathed, and tried not to vomit all over the room.

Skulduggery had continued with his musings, unaware of her situation behind him. "The Watts had one son, Tyrell, but he died before he reached a month old. So he's off of the suspect list, seeing as the number of houses affected and the objects and people taken would be too great for a poltergeist. Not to mention that he would be an awfully small one."

Valkyrie mumbled something that sounded like an agreement.

Skulduggery stepped forward and began examining the slashes in the far wall, and she needed to get out of this tiny room, attacked twice, by the death of an infant; the smothering of hope for the future, and then by the claws of an insane vampire.

"I'll cover the rest of the house," she called hastily as she backed out of the room, disturbed by the tiny tingle of death in her necromancer ring as she thought of baby Tyrell. The creepy moving shadows didn't help with her uneasiness.

Even once out of the room, she didn't feel any better. The rest of her guilt, shame, and fear came crashing back.

Because the thing was, that dream with Caelan - she had enjoyed it. She had felt safe and comfortable in the arms of a monster.

She had felt like she was _in love_.

Valkyrie dug her fingers into her scalp until she winced, and continued on down the stairs. Anywhere was better than the place where she was faced by the thing that she feared to admit, and the man she feared to admit it to.

* * *

Skulduggery rejoined Valkyrie in the hallways where they had entered before.

"Anything?" he murmured. She shook her head. "Me neither," he added.

"Ah, there you two are," called Mrs. Watts as she appeared in a doorway to their right. "My husband is right through here." She looked much better now - more calm and collected.

Skulduggery followed Valkyrie through to the kitchen. It was warm and cozy, and it cooed family. The place where his heart used to be clenched, and Valkyrie looked at him with sympathy.

"'Ello," came a deep, scratchy voice. An old man, with kind eyes and haphazard grey hair, waved at them from his chair at the kitchen table.

The pair walked over to him and he struggled to stand to shake their hands. "My name is...uh...my name is..."

The man looked to Sheri for help. Her lower lip quivered. "Todd, dearest. Your name is Todd." He nodded and turned back to face Skulduggery and Valkyrie. They completed their introductions, then sat down facing the old man. Valkyrie pulled her chair out and sat slightly behind him while they made some small talk. Finally, Skulduggery reached the point.

"We'd like to ask you a few questions about your experience over the four day period in which you were missing," Skulduggery began. His voice was intimate and friendly.

Todd Watts' face creased into a sad smile. "I knew this was going to happen, and I'm really sorry, but I'm totally buggered. I don't remember anything about my life at all, let alone the last few days. As far as I know, I just woke up in a house I can't recall ever seeing, surrounded by people I don't recognize." Sheri sniffled quietly. "Sorry again, old sport," he apologized.

Skulduggery was quiet for a moment. "Very well, Mr. Watts." He got up to go, and replaced his hat on his head. "I'm very sorry for your experience. I hope you find yourself, sir." The old man looked down, and Skulduggery and Valkyrie left.

Sheri was waiting for them in the front hall. Her eyes were downcast. "We've been married for fifty-three years, and he doesn't even remember my name now."

Valkyrie looked at the grieving old lady with tortured eyes.

"Is there anything else you'd like to mention about the crime?" asked Skulduggery gently.

She blinked to clear her eyes. "All of our silver cutlery is missing. And there was a vase of peonies in the kitchen that I can't seem to find. Todd bought them for our anniversary. It was two days before he disappeared." She dissolved into tears.

Skulduggery nodded at Valkyrie to get the door. She complied, giving Mrs. Watts an awkward but emotional kiss on the cheek as they departed.

* * *

_My fault, _thought Valkyrie as they walked back to the Bentley. _My_ _fault_.  
She crawled into the back seat. Skulduggery looked at her, facade deactivated.

"I need some sleep, okay?"

He shrugged and started the engine as Valkyrie lay down. The instant she relaxed, sleep took over. And the dream started.

_Oh, Caelan_.

Her body struggled and her eyes shot open again. This couldn't be happening again.  
"We're back," said Skulduggery from the front seat.

_Twenty minutes_. Enough for the two of them to get up to a lot. She smiled ruefully, then realized what she was doing, and wiped the look off of her face. Sitting back up, she spoke to Skulduggery. "I want to sleep at my house tonight. I haven't been home in a fortnight. God, I can't believe Alice is four already! I feel so old. Also, I want my own bed. I want proper milk in my cereal." She plastered a smile on her face as she clambered into the front seat. "A night without you creeping on me," she teased.

"I wasn't."

"Suuuurre. Now drive."

He doffed his hat and restarted the engine. "As you wish, m'lady."

Her smile was genuine this time. What she really wanted was some time away from the constant pressure that he created: for her to keep up her appearance of normality, and to tell him what she suspected was happening. But if she told him one thing, she had to spill the entire can of beans, including how she felt about Caelan. Valkyrie was terrified that this emotion from her dreams was carrying on into real life, and that she was actually feeling something for the vampire who had tried to kill her.

Her hands clenched in her lap.

"We've arrived, your grace. Would you care to get out now?" Skulduggery mocked.

She pouted. "Not even going to open the door for me?" He laughed and pushed the unlock button, and she clambered out grudgingly.

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded and smiled, then went around to the back of the house and used the air to lift herself to her bedroom.

* * *

Skulduggery drove away feeling odd. He was dazzling, witty, and charming, but right now, he was lonely. He missed Valkyrie's presence, her warmth and noise and light, as he unlocked the door to his own quiet house. It was cold and dark inside, and even flicking on the electric lights did nothing to alleviate the gloominess. He sighed loudly and sat down on the couch where Valkyrie had slept, pushing her blankets to the side. He crossed his legs, inhaled the faint traces of her scent deeply, then closed his eyes to meditate.

* * *

_They lay together in Valkyrie's bed, early morning sunlight just beginning to seep into the room. Caelan rolled over to face her, and kissed her lips passionately. Just as her body began to respond, he broke off the kiss and drew back._

_"So I know that you don't think I'm real when it's daytime," he said huskily. She smiled sleepily and snuggled closer. "Of course you're real. What do you mean, hon?"_

_He grinned wolfishly and lowered his lips to her neck. "So you remember me," he murmured. His teeth grazed her skin, and she arched her back and tangled her fingers in his dark hair._

Valkyrie awoke with the sun's rays in her eyes. She blinked, turned over and rubbed her eyes a couple of times. She felt happy and content as she slid a bare foot to the floor and walked to the bathroom.

Her step faltered as the dream came crashing back. Valkyrie sprinted to the mirror and stood before it. She shook with trepidation as she slowly lifted her hair away from her neck.

There it was: at the base of her neck, a small red and purple discoloration. Valkyrie stiffened in shock. _No_. _NO_. This was real. It had happened. She had been with Caelan. He wasn't dead: he hadn't died in the stormy saltwater below the Haggard pier. He was alive and she had been _with_ _him_.  
She gasped for air, steeled her mind, and reached for her phone.

* * *

Skulduggery's phone rang on the coffee table in front of him. He picked up the device, saw Valkyrie's name on the display. His mind lit up and he answered the call.  
"I thought _I_ was supposed to call you," he fake-grumbled.

"I have to tell you something." Her voice sounded strained, like she had been crying. Skulduggery's body tightened and he waited for her to continue.

"Oh, god, it's all my fault. Poor Sheri. Poor Todd. And all of the other people. I should have said something," she sobbed, rambling. He listened confusedly.  
"Wait. What do you mean?" he asked.  
There was a long pause from her side of the line.  
"I know who's behind all of this. Our case."  
"Who -"  
"I've been having these dreams lately. I...I thought they were dreams. I wanted to tell you but..."  
"What does this -"  
"I've been sleeping with a man in my dreams."

Skulduggery sat silently, shocked to the core. He struggled to feel something, anything. An emotion started to grow at last: hurt. The one thing that he couldn't give her. He tried to cover up the lapse.

"Well. You're a grown girl of 21, an adult now -"  
"You don't understand," her voice, blurred with shame and fear and sadness interrupted, "I've been with Caelan when I sleep."

He felt another jab, delivered viciously to the stomach.

"And I thought it was just that, a dream. Bloody hell. I was _happy_ in those dreams. What's wrong with me?" her voice dropped away, then returned with a wail. "And this morning, when I woke up, something from in that dream was real. There's a bruise on my neck."

Skulduggery stayed silent, attempting to absorb the concussive blows of information she was dealing him. He tried not to move, tried not to further damage his heart. _Valkyrie had been with Caelan_. His mind screamed and kicked. A voice from deep within spoke: _Valkyrie had chosen Caelan over him. _Skulduggery pushed it down forcefully.

"Valkyrie?" he ventured.  
"I'm so sorry. Oh my god, he did it all to draw us in -"

Through the phone, he heard a window shatter, and Valkyrie started screaming -

* * *

- and Caelan came crashing through the window, and Valkyrie cried out and dropped her phone. Skulduggery roared her name across the connection. She pushed at the air and tried to lunge for her necromancer ring, but he moved around it and pinned her against his body, hand covering her mouth.

"Hush, baby, why are you screaming? It's just me."

She whimpered with horror.

Caelan leant down to grab her phone from the floor and spoke into it, never loosening his hold on her.

"Hello, Detective. I have my Val back now. We're quite happy together, and we would both appreciate it if you didn't try to follow us to where we're going. Thank you." He hung up, cutting off Skulduggery's voice.

Caelan turned his dark eyes on her, and shifted his hold from her mouth to her throat. She sobbed and struggled. "There, there, darling. It's alright. We're here, together, just like we were meant to be."

He smiled, and kissed her forehead as she went limp in his arms.

* * *

**Woah. Long. Ok. To start off with, this isn't going to be another of those "Omgeeee let's go save Valkyrie cuz she's so weak she can't do anyyyytttthhhiiinnngg for herself" stories. Promise! Val is a strong chick, she can put up a fight. Someone to Save You portrayed a moment of weakness(: anyways, rant finished now**

**So school starts up again tomorrow...ahhh god sophomore now...yep I just told you how old I am oops...I'm 15...anyways...it's gonna start slowing down with the fanfic now D: I'm so sorry guys, I'll do my best to keep up. So this might be the last one of the summer holiday stories. Sob. Sob. Maybe there will be one more. Maybeee.**

**Well again, thanks for every amazing fan out there that rated&reviewed. PM'd me, favorited, or followed! Join the ranks! Comment! Puhleezz**

**AND THERE'S ONLY 4 MORE DAYS UNTIL LAST STAND OF DEAD MEN COMES OUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh**


	3. Don't Touch Me

The phone beeped as the call terminated. Skulduggery slowly, slowly lowered it from his head to his lap. He slid it into his jacket pocket, taking many seconds to do so, and then stood. With jerky steps, he began walking to the kitchen.

Skulduggery felt like he was going to explode. Any fast movement would unhinge the desperate calm to which he clung for the moment.

As he entered the kitchen, hallucinations of Valkyrie swarmed, of how beautiful she looked on the day she attempted to bake a cake for Ghastly's birthday, flour settling in her dark hair like snow, and a smear of chocolate on her nose. Of the time he had caught her dancing to music off her phone and had stood surreptitiously in the doorway, watching for many minutes. Of the way she had swayed across the tiled floor just yesterday morning, clutching a bowl of cereal, looking angry and fierce and stunning.

He stiffened, and dropped back against the counter. His knees could no longer hold his weight, and he slid down the wall until he was sitting. Skulduggery could hear his own jagged breathing, nearly sobbing, as he stared fixedly at his gloved hands.  
Caelan had Valkyrie. God knows what he would do to her.

Skulduggery suddenly flashed to rage. He shot off the ground, snatched an empty glass from the island, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered, glass splinters raining down to clink against one another on the floor. He turned and sprinted through the house, slamming through doors until he reached the garage. Swinging into the Bentley, he started the engine with a roar that matched his anger, and shot down the driveway backwards. Skulduggery wrenched the wheel, crunched through the gears straight to fifth, and screamed down Cemetery Road.

* * *

The office telephone rang, and Grand Mage Ravel happily dropped his pen to reach for it. "Yes?" he answered.

"He has her, Erskine. He took her, straight from her house. There's no point in going there now, of course they're gone. God, I should never have let her -"

"Slow down," interrupted Ravel. "Who has who where?"

Ghastly poked his head through the door. Apparently Skulduggery's shouting across the connection had been as loud as Ravel himself had thought, and so Ghastly had heard and come to investigate.

"Caelan has Valkyrie," came Skulduggery's now quiet, resigned voice. "He's the one behind all of those weird reports surrounding Haggard. And for one night, just _one_ night, I let her out of my sight, and she's gone. She's gone, Erskine," he pleaded sorrowfully, begging for recognition and help and a way to relieve the pain.

Ghastly watched in confusion as Ravel's face went from perplexity to shock to horror. '_What?'_ he mouthed, but Ravel waved him away in a preoccupied manner.  
"Skulduggery, come to my office. We need to talk...Yes...Yes. I'm sorry," he said. He hung up.

"What?" exploded Ghastly anxiously. Ravel turned sad eyes on him, then filled him in in the situation. Ghastly's eyes widened as Ravel explained.

"You mean to say, her vampire ex who tried to kill her and we thought was dead has now hatched a plan to kidnap her that has come to fruition?"

Ravel took a moment to digest all of the words leaving Ghastly's mouth. "Um...yes? I think so, if you said what I think you said...good god, have you been reading the Elders' journals?" he exclaimed. The other man shrugged and went to answer, but at that exact moment, Skulduggery came slamming in.

"You're already here?" frowned Ghastly. "How fast were you driving?"  
Skulduggery ignored the comment. His hat was tipped low over his eye sockets, and his shoulders were lifted slightly. Ghastly could see his entire body trembling, as if with contained rage.

He ripped his phone out of his coat pocket and slammed it on the table.  
"Skulduggery..." began Ravel. Skulduggery shook his head angrily and punched a few buttons on the phone. "The last conversation we had," he growled.

Ravel listened to Valkyrie's voice, small and strained and shaky, whispering from the speakers of the device: something was obviously very wrong. Skulduggery's recorded voice came back, concerned and caring.

As the conversation continued, Ravel's brows shifted lower and lower, until when Valkyrie interrupted with her confession that she was sleeping with Caelan in her dreams, they shot back up his forehead. As she furthered the information, to where she stated that it had really happened, Ghastly covered his mouth with shock, and listened to his friend's pained silence on the phone speakers.

_"Oh my god, he did it all to draw us in-"_  
She started screaming, and all three men in the room tensed. There was the sound of a struggle, and Skulduggery's voice yelling her name, and finally Caelan's cocky message.

In the corner of the room, Skulduggery's hands clenched and unclenched. His skull was turned away, and tipped down.

The recording ended.

Ghastly gazed at Skulduggery. Ravel stared at the phone.

A clock ticked somewhere in the office.

"She was sleeping with-"  
"Bloody hell, Ravel, couldn't you are least focus on what matters?" burst out Ghastly.  
"Y'know, I would have thought that it's a _little_ important," began Ravel angrily.  
"Oh, and not the fact that she said they were _drawn in,_ that there might be something bigger going on here?"  
"I don't exactly want lots of little baby vampire mutants running around," shouted Ravel furiously.

Skulduggery roared and lunged at him. Ghastly grabbed his swinging fist and forcibly retained him as he struggled.  
Ravel backed off across the office.  
"Don't you ever...don't you DARE say that again," snarled Skulduggery.  
"I'm sorry," Ravel whispered. "I didn't even think."

Skulduggery shook off Ghastly's hands and stepped away. "Neither of you even bothered to mention the fact _Valkyrie is missing_."

"Skulduggery," said Ghastly gently, "I think we're dealing with a crisis that has gone beyond her now." At the look on his friend's face, he added quickly, "Of course she's important too."

Ravel joined in. "But we need to consider what the consequences of what she said are. If Caelan wanted to draw you in-" Skulduggery growled at the name "he obviously wanted to distract the two of you from whatever the main thing going on here is."

"And knowing Caelan, he probably isn't orchestrating this all by himself. There's got to be some bigger ploy here. Something that you need to be sidetracked from." Ghastly glanced at Ravel.

"So we'll need you to find out what that is."

Skulduggery looked back and forth between the two of them. "I don't believe it," he said. "Valkyrie is missing. And you want me just to _focus on something else?_"

Ravel opened his mouth helplessly.

Skulduggery turned and strode from the room.

* * *

The room was dark and damp and cold. Mildew was seeping across the stained ceiling, and somewhere in the cell, water dripped incessantly.

A slight click alerted Valkyrie to the fact that the cell door was opening. A blaze of light shone across the walls as it swung silently on its hinges behind her. She struggled to turn her head to see who it was, but the restraints held tight. A strap went across her forehead, two across each arm, one at the hips and finally at each knee. She was tied down securely to the medical chair - exactly like what you would see at a dentist's office.

Somebody took a few steps into the room, closing the door behind them. Valkyrie's heart pounded and she bunched up her fists. The footsteps continued and the light switched on.

She cried out as her eyes, not seeing light for too long, were blinded.

Instantly, there were caring hands on her shoulders.

"My love, I'm so sorry!"

Valkyrie shrieked and jerked, and the hands receded from her body. "Stay away from me!"

"Hush, darling. You don't even know who it is. Open your eyes."

She jittered her head back and forth. "No. I won't."

"Come on," came his silky voice, and his cold fingers caressed her warm, sweaty ones.  
Slowly, against her will, Valkyrie's eyelids drew back.

Caelan gazed into her eyes. His face was so close to hers, and his perfect chiseled features overwhelmed her. His long, thick lashes framed dark, liquid irises. Caelan's black hair brushed at his forehead softly, and his cheekbones, like perfect ridges, rose smoothly below his skin. His soft, sensual lips smiled at her.

Valkyrie couldn't help it. She gasped aloud at his beauty.

Caelan smoothed her hair with one hand, and laid his other against her face. She blinked at him, captivated.

"I hope you haven't been too uncomfortable here. We just didn't come to an understanding before. I'm really sorry." His face creased into an expression of worry, and she almost cried out, aching to take the pain away from this angelic individual.

Wait. What the hell. This was Caelan, the monster who had tried to kill her and was holding her captive.

"Stop!" she yelled, as his hands softly touched her face. "Don't you dare," she hissed acidly.

Caelan drew back like he'd been slapped. "But why? Valkyrie, I love you."

She struggled against the tide of emotions he was trying to stir up in her, to pull her to him. She snatched onto her anger and resisted. "Don't touch me," Valkyrie growled.

Caelan snarled. "I offer you warmth, love, freedom, and a proper bed, and you still deny me? You were made for me, and I'll take you, willing or otherwise!"

She screamed as he rammed a needle into a vein on her forearm. He shoved an IV into it and inserted a clear fluid into the plastic tubing. Valkyrie watched in terror as it diffused down the line and into her body. She began to feel light and floaty.

As she struggled to hang onto her senses, Caelan's voice came to her through the mist. "I apologize for that, darling. I lost my temper. Can you forgive me?" His eyes pleaded with her.

Valkyrie couldn't help it. "Of course," she mumbled.

He relaxed and smiled. "I enjoy you so much when you're like this. You're so...willing." Caelan licked his lips.

Valkyrie tried to muster the effort to resist. She was powerless in his hands, liquefied and useless. Whatever drug he had injected worked well for sure.

Caelan unsnapped the restraints, and Valkyrie lifted her arm. He took it and wrapped it around his neck as he lifted her.

She hung in his arms, head leaning on her chest.

"Let me take you away now," he whispered in her ear.

Valkyrie closed her eyes and focused her thoughts on one man: Skulduggery stretched in her thoughts and came to life.

As Caelan lifted her chin and kissed her with his cold lips, hand brushing the skin of her stomach beneath her top, she filled her mind with Skulduggery Pleasant and nothing else.

* * *

**Hey again! Long time no see for this story. Yeahhh...truth is...I'm so uninspired right now for this story. It's lacking pazazz. And whapow. And - nevermind. So it's kind of an off day. Sorry if this is a little lacking.**

**So my sincerest apologies that I haven't updated this for a little while...SCHOOL. How do you guys still write during the year?! You're all my heroes(:**

**So anyways. Another sob story...Skulduggery Pleasant isn't published in 'Merica. Excuse me while I go cry. So I'm gonna have to order from Amazon Canada. And it doesn't come out until the 10th. Sob. Sob. Sob.**

**Welp. Allow me to retire to my writing desk (lol my phone) and continue. Watch out for a new co-write with Justrockzyxxx! Coming soon to a theatre near you...**

**Please rate&review, PM me, follow, or favorite!**


	4. Turning the Tables

"He's doing exactly what whoever it is expected." Ghastly leaned heavily on the corner of Ravel's desk. Ravel was slumped with his head on his crossed forearms.

He mumbled something.

"Sorry?"

Ravel raised his head. "Of course he is. This is Valkyrie we're talking about. Something he cares for more than his ego."

Ghastly snorted humorlessly.

"But seriously, you saw him. He's messed up big time."

"They're banking on that," sighed Ghastly.

Ravel's head flopped back down. "And now what's the next thing we have to worry about in this tangled mess?"

The other man closed his eyes and rubbed a hand across his raised scars. "We never leave this place." He gestured around at the office's drab walls and uncomfortable furniture. "I've been sleeping in my office, even," he exclaimed.  
Ravel groaned. "Why did I accept this job, anyways?"  
"No one else wanted it."

"We need to get out for a while."  
Ravel leaped up. "The tavern down the road, then?"  
"Oh, yes," agreed Ghastly fervently. Ravel vaulted the desk, and snatched up his coat. "Watch out ladies, here we come," he teased, wiggling his eyebrows. Ghastly threw his head back and laughed. He walked to the door and threw it open.

Standing directly outside was a woman. The two men stared in amazement from her spiky stiletto boots to her figure-hugging red bodysuit to her bright purple hair.  
"Um...can we help you?" stuttered Ravel, mesmerized by the low neckline of her outfit.

She grinned and shifted on her heels and pulled out a gun, pointing it directly at them. Ghastly yelled in shock and slammed the door, locking it tightly.

"What the..." he exclaimed, and sped to the phone. He punched in the number for Tipstaff and nervously checked the windows for any unwelcome newcomers who might be on their way.

Ravel was still standing, staring at the door. He grinned, astonished. "When I said watch out, ladies, I didn't exactly expect _that_ to happen." Suddenly he frowned.

"What's that?" He stepped closer to the door and peered at what seemed to be a black liquid dripping from the lock.

As he watched, it began oozing underneath the door as well, and through the minute space between the door and its frame, accumulating in a dark puddle on the floor.

"Dammit, where's Tipstaff when you need him," growled Ghastly as the phone continued to ring, unanswered.

Ravel stretched out a finger to the black, oily-looking substance. It clung to his finger, and he panicked and reared back. The stuff stretched to a certain distance, and then snapped back. He grimaced, scuttled backwards, and wiped his hand on his shirt.

"That's nasty, whatever it is," frowned Ravel as he craned his neck to see Ghastly over the desk that he was huddled against. Ghastly was staring at something behind him in shock, and the phone clattered out of his hand. He opened his mouth to yell a warning, and Ravel spun just in time to see the woman rising, impossibly, from the liquid, it stretching up to form her, and her boot connecting with his face.

He slumped backwards.

Ghastly fumbled for his mobile and scrambled backwards, searching for Skulduggery's speed dial. He swore as the woman leaped up onto the desk. Her leg lashed out in a vicious roundhouse kick that he had to drop to avoid. And then she was melting away, into black liquid that splashed onto the carpet. Ghastly hit Skulduggery's contact number, and the dial tone sounded in his ear.

"Come on, come on," he muttered anxiously as the phone began to ring. A shadow fell across his back, and the violet-haired woman's hands slammed against both sides of his skull simultaneously.

Ghastly's eyes rolled up in his head and he fell forwards.

* * *

Valkyrie awoke, lying on her side in a massive bed. She could see the canopy, far above, draped with ruched velvet, and ivory lace. The deep-colored oak bedposts towered to meet the top.

She shifted slightly and groaned. Her whole body ached, and the luxurious silk sheets did nothing but rub agonizingly at her raw mind.

Her heart froze. Slowly, she turned over, but of course Caelan was already gone, leaving nothing but a faint scent and an imprint in the mattress.

Valkyrie painfully, slowly, carefully got up, taking the sheet with her. She wrapped it around her bare body and padded across the wood paneled floor to the mirror.

Her dark hair hung lightly across her bare shoulders, and the warm golden sheet glowed against her pallid skin. Her eyes, dark as pitch, gazed solemnly back at her.

Now that the drug's fog had worn away, Valkyrie could remember everything. An icy rage ignited in her chest, and she closed her eyes against its force. When they opened again, she scanned the room, but her clothes were nowhere to be found.

She tied the sheet tightly about her, and strode to the door. The cloth billowed wildly behind her, parting across her left knee as she marched to the exit and tugged on the handle. Her eyes widened in surprise as it turned, leading out into a deserted stone corridor.

Valkyrie grinned. That was unexpected. She could work with it.

She stepped out into the hall.

* * *

Skulduggery's phone rang. It lay on the table in front of him. He stared at it disinterestedly, and it was just out of his arm's reach, so he ignored its insistent noise.

When it didn't stop, he hissed in frustration, threw aside the map, and grabbed it. "What, Ghastly!" he snarled.

There was silence from the other side of the line, and then a rough clink and the call disconnected.

Skulduggery slowly laid down the phone. Ghastly never did that. He didn't 'accidentally' dial, and if he had, he would've noticed and spoken, not hung up.

Something had to be wrong.

But should he leave his search for his partner to find out? Should he go find his friend, the man he had known for centuries, and abandon the girl he had known for less than a decade?

Skulduggery groaned, torn.

* * *

There he was. At the end of the hall, looking at her. There was nowhere to hide.  
So Valkyrie pushed aside every instinct she possessed and began to walk towards Caelan.

He narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

She approached him, swaying her hips and pursing her lips. "I missed you, babe." She swung her hair back over her shoulders and ran her hand over his chest, feeling him shiver. So she _did_ have power over him.

Caelan's eyes took on a hooded look. Then he shook himself slightly and asked suspiciously, "Did you really?"

Valkyrie bit her lip and looked away, but stepped closer. She could feel his eyes roaming over her, but she leaned into him and slipped her fingers into his hair.

Caelan's body quivered, and he brought his lips to hers, kissing her roughly. His raw desire burned with every kiss, and Valkyrie found herself desperately returning each one. His fingers were at the knot in the sheet around her body, and Valkyrie strained mentally.

Why couldn't she stop all of a sudden? This wasn't going to plan; she was supposed to be punching him, not making out with him. What was wrong with her? She felt herself falling into him, unable to fight the gravitational pull.

He finally managed to undo the knot and the sheet began to fall away from her and –

Valkyrie grabbed Caelan and rammed him face-first into the wall.

He dropped like a stone to the floor.

* * *

**So here's to khadijahsays...not quite a punch but still~ **

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**NightcatMau, DarkAntidote, Divergentshadowhunter99, Justrockzyxxx, realtawit, Kathryn Euler, kindaxx44myrnin, Uni Giglio Nero, XxbeautifulxX134, ValkyrieVex, Sometimes i lick windows _(lol)_, Valkyrie4Ever, EJ26, Fire Kitty 12, wubbles417, and guests of course. **

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**Well hope you liked it:3**


	5. Evanesce Luez

Skulduggery's facade tightened with cold as he opened the door of the Bentley and stepped out. The dirty Roarhaven scenery affronted the eyes, and the low Sanctuary building crouched in the midst of all of the grime, looking for all the world like a predator coiled and ready to pounce.

He stalked across the grey asphalt to the dark main doors, and pushed them open to walk inside. The first thing Skulduggery registered was an object swinging at his face.

He held up a hand and caught the staff.

The man on the other end of it squealed with outrage and tried to tug the stick back.

"Bromine Saunders! You drop that immediately! Don't you know who that is?" Tipstaff's voice rang out across the Sanctuary lobby, and Saunders dropped the staff and jumped back.  
"That's Skulduggery Pleasant, that is! What were you thinking, attacking him? You ought to be ashamed!"  
He gaped at Skulduggery. "But...but...I thought he was a skeleton."  
"He's got a facade, you idiot!" screeched Tipstaff.

Skulduggery's fake face slid away and Saunders gasped. He dropped to his knees and started groveling at the level of Skulduggery's shoes. Skulduggery turned and walked away to Tipstaff.

"I'm so sorry about that," apologized Tipstaff as the other man joined him. "It's just, we've been on a high level of security, and Saunders is new- "  
"Why?" interrupted Skulduggery. His body tensed.

"The elders. Ghastly and Erskine. They've been taken."  
Skulduggery whipped off his hat and crunched it between his gloved hands in aggravation. First Valkyrie, now Ravel and Ghastly.

"What happened." His voice was dead, emotionless, and quiet.

Tipstaff quickly explained about the woman. "We think that she attacked them in Ravel's office, from the signs of a struggle, and then smuggled them out in a janitor trolley. Some reports of a strangely dressed woman have been logged, and we have security footage." He gulped a little as Skulduggery said nothing, only thrusting out his hand. Tipstaff scrambled for the blocky device and logged into the CCTV cameras.

A female figure in a tight fitting outfit strutted into the view of a camera. She winked, blew a kiss, and left the screen.

Skulduggery growled.

Tipstaff stuttered as he said, "Also...all of the other cameras in the area were...destroyed. Sloppily. She pretty much...chucked her stiletto at them."  
The security footage showed a shoe hurtling at the screen, and then static.

Skulduggery whirled and took off deeper into the building, leaving the other man to scramble in his wake.

"What time was this? Where did you find the trolleys? Do we have any information about how the woman overpowered them? Why wasn't I called?" Skulduggery fired off questions as he swept towards Ghastly's office.

Tipstaff panted and tried to catch up to answer.

Skulduggery reached the door to the office and stepped inside.  
Immediately, he stopped. Tipstaff careened wildly on his toes as he labored to not crash into Skulduggery's back. He finally regained his balance, and sighed with relief. He did _not_ want to bump into the fabled Skeleton Detective when the man was in a mood like this.

Abruptly, Skulduggery threw open his jacket and reached inside to grab his powder to detect the disciple of magic used. His elbow rocketed back with the motion, catching Tipstaff, who had been standing far too close, right in the stomach. He gasped and folded, gagging as he tried to suck air into his lungs.

"Apologies, Tipstaff," tossed Skulduggery over his shoulder. Tipstaff wheezed.

The detective stirred the powder with a finger to break it up, and Tipstaff straightened up slowly, rubbing the sore spot where a skeletal elbow had connected with his solar plexus. He wiped a small tear from his eye and tried to play off the incident. "You know, I was thinking, I heard what happened to Valkyrie and...I think this must be connected," he finished triumphantly.

Skulduggery's finger stopped moving through the powder and he looked at Tipstaff with derision. Every angle of his body oozed the word _duh_. "This is what her kidnap was to distract us from."

Tipstaff wilted. "Oh. Um, just, y'know, trying to help." He tried a watery smile.

Skulduggery kindly patted him on the shoulder, and then reached unto the bag with the powder and shook out a little into his palm.

He raised his arm and let the dust sift through his fingers, gently floating down to the ground. It scattered light in tiny sparkles as it tumbled through the air. As the powder reached a certain point near the floor, it turned inky black and dropped like a marionette with cut strings.

Skulduggery froze.

"Evanesce Luez."

* * *

Valkyrie winced with cold as she trudged, barefoot, into the wreck of a town. The ice and snow stung at her feet, but she had nearly reached her destination. She heaved open the door of the ancient, grimy phone booth, and stepped inside. It shut behind her.

Valkyrie quickly punched in Ghastly's phone number from memory with numb hands. As it dialled, she stared out at the moor scape she had just crossed. At the far end of it, shadowed by fog, lay the mansion. Her breathing accelerated and she swayed and clutched the sheet around her more tightly, blinking tears away.

Ghastly should have picked up by now, but the ringtone just kept sounding in her ear as no one picked up. She sighed and tugged on the cord to the phone anxiously. Caelan would be coming. She had to leave, and right now. Valkyrie knew she should call Skulduggery, but she couldn't face that, not yet.

The snobby voice in her ear commanded her to 'leave a message after the tone.'  
"Ghastly, it's me. It's Valkyrie. I need help...please call me back."

* * *

A loud ringtone blared from Tipstaff's pocket. "Bloody hell!" he shrieked.

Skulduggery spun and dropped into a combative stance.

"That's not my phone ringing!" the Sanctuary aid squealed.

Skulduggery sighed, began to slump, but then straightened up abruptly. "Do you-"

"That's Ghastly's!"

He began frantically digging through the many pockets of his robes. Finally, he emerged victorious, clutching the mobile in his hand. As he was about to press the receive button for the call, Skulduggery stopped him. "Wait. It's an unknown number. It could be them. Checking where his phone is."

Tipstaff hesitated, torn, and then placed the device on the desk, set it to speech and stepped back to resist temptation.

Together, the two men stared at the ringing phone. The dial tone ended, and a message began.

That voice.

_Her_ voice.

Skulduggery gasped. That was Valkyrie. He lunged at the phone, swept it up to his ear, crying her name in desperation.

The flat tone signaled a terminated call.

* * *

Valkyrie hung up the phone dejectedly, and idly glanced outside.

She swore and ducked.

A woman was standing about two hundred meters away. From her unnatural grace and beauty, it was obvious what she was: a vampire.

Valkyrie's heart pounded in her chest. Out in the open, dressed conspicuously as she was, it would be like a mouse skittering across an open field - under the watchful eye of the hawk.

She cursed again, and threw open the door of the phone booth, just as a loud ringing started behind her. _No time now_. She bolted across the slushy square and threw herself into the relative shelter of an alleyway.

The phone ring echoed through the silent town.

Valkyrie sprinted down the way towards the dumpsters at the dead end. She ducked behind one and gathered her strength. She had one plan, and only one, and she was hoping with everything she had that it would work.

The vampire, still in human form, approached the heavy metal dumpsters slowly, prowling with a predatory grin on her face. Her movements ebbed and flowed like liquid, and her eyes swept coolly over the scene. There was only one place that the girl could hide here.

Behind the bins, Valkyrie positioned her feet flat against the metal and waited.  
The vampire stepped closer.

Valkyrie flexed her fingers. _Just a little closer, just a little_.

The vampire smirked took one more step. A wall of air smacked into her back and shoved her forwards, into the dumpster. At the same time, Valkyrie lashed out with her legs, gasping with effort as she strained at the wall of the bin. It tipped up on its side, and she panted in exertion. The vampire struggled and began to break away from the wall of air. Valkyrie shouted and reapplied pressure, and with a final effort, pushed the dumpster over, crushing the other woman.

Valkyrie heard the crunch of bone and then a chilling silence. She groaned and stood, making sure the vampire wasn't going anywhere. Bending down, she could see nothing but one hand sticking out. Nothing moved, not even by the slightest twitch of the finger.

Valkyrie began hobbling out of the alleyway, feeling her scraped shoulders and bruised balls of her feet. She was panting, shivering, and she wanted to go home.

* * *

Skulduggery cursed. He punched the redial key, but Valkyrie didn't pick up. "Trace this number. Immediately," he ordered.

Tipstaff stumbled over himself in his anxiety to comply. Pulling out a walkie-talkie, he communicated the phone number to another official curtly. A reply came back almost immediately. "Lusk. She's in Lusk," he repeated to Skulduggery.

Skulduggery was almost out the door when Tipstaff stopped him. "Where do you think you're going?"

The detective turned slowly.

"Your duty is, first and foremost, to the Elders. You can't just go chasing off after her now. Erskine Ravel and Ghastly Bespoke are your case of number one importance."  
Skulduggery stared murderously.

"A team had been dispatched to find Valkyrie," said Tipstaff, more kindly "But I can't allow you to join them. You need to find the leaders of this Sanctuary now."  
"And how exactly do you plan on stopping me." Skulduggery inclined his skull slightly and spoke with a quiet voice.

"Skulduggery, I...I don't want to do this. But if I have to, I will use force." Six Cleavers stepped into view in the hallway.

Skulduggery clenched his fists.

"I'm sorry," Tipstaff whispered gently. "First of all, you need to tell me. What is Evanesce Luez?"

The other man stalked to the desk and flopped down in an uncomfortable chair. He rolled his neck, and visibly tried to retain his calm. "Not what, who: she. Evanesce Luez. The only person ever to practice an otherwise nonexistent form of Adept magic. She can... melt. For lack of a better word. Luez can manipulate the chemical structure of her body to become fluid, therefore possessing the ability to pass through normally unsurpassable gaps."

"So you're saying-"

"Yes."

"That woman who was here-"

"Yes."

Tipstaff gulped.

Skulduggery bent down and studied the carpeted floor near to the door. "Here you go." He gestured to a slightly dark-stained patch. "Leaving traces." Straightening up, he gazed at Tipstaff darkly. "Now, what I have to figure out is what she wants with Ghastly and Ravel." _And how this is connected to Valkyrie._

* * *

Valkyrie huddled against the brick wall and reflected darkly on how much time she had been spending in alleys recently.

She was frozen. Her bare legs were whitish-blue, despite her efforts to cover them with the paper-thin sheet. She had stopped trying a while ago. If she'd had any energy left, she would have worried about the blackness that had been spreading from her dead fingers.

Valkyrie struggled to breathe in the frigid air with numb lungs. The muddy sludge she was slumped in seemed to be swallowing her.

Her vision was blurry, and her eyelids were inching their way down. Strangely, she was beginning to feel warm, and so very tired.

Through the unfocused view from her misty eyes, Valkyrie glimpsed a faraway figure sprinting towards her.

**Hola. As you may tell, I wasn't what you'd call overly inspired, but here it is!**

**THanks for reading! And please do review, PM me, follow, and favorite(: oh also please ignore every time I said 'rate&review.' There's no such thing as rating...that's embarrassing :P so try your best to forget about my moments of stupidity**


	6. Clock Tower

Skulduggery knew the clues were there. He _knew_ it. But he just couldn't see it, because Valkyrie's absence was clouding his vision.

He groaned and smacked his skull on the table.

The series of photographs lain out in front of him rustled slightly. A paper whirled off the table and drifted down to the floor.

Skulduggery looked at it, deliberating where or not to retrieve the sheet. Instead, he turned his gaze to wall and succumbed to distraction, pulling between his fingers a long, black hair.

* * *

Valkyrie gasped as her fingers were plunged into a clear serum in a glass bottle. Where she had previously felt nothing, a small, sharp tingle began, and soon became a piercing heat.

Her whole body was jostled as the Cleavers ran the gurney she was laid out on up and into the ambulance. She tried to open her eyes but was rewarded with nothing but pain as the lights of the various life-saving devices inside the vehicle shone.

The Cleavers moved through the blur, whipping away the sheet she had worn and gently covering her with a new one. From the way that instant heat reached Valkyrie's dull mind, she guessed that it was thermal. She let her head fall to the side and watched blankly as darkness leached from her fingers and into the clear liquid.

Then hands were grabbing her face and turning her to look up, and she was so, so tired. "Stay with me," a soft voice drifted to Valkyrie's ear. Her eyelids were being forced open and a penlight passing across her pupils. She struggled weakly, trying to evade the burst of brightness, but another Cleaver was holding her down. A syringe gun pressed to her neck.

It ejected its medicines into her bloodstream, and Valkyrie's eyes flew open and she sucked in air, shooting up into a sitting position. The adrenaline was doing its work as she gasped and trembled from end to end. As the surge passed, she flopped back and sighed.

"She's clear," someone's voice rang out.

Valkyrie forced her eyes shut, alone with her thoughts as the room full of people began their work to heal her body. Little did they know yet that the true damage lay in her mind.

* * *

Ghastly awoke, lying on his back. Ropes crisscrossed over his entire body, pinning him tightly against the chilly stone floor. Somewhere in the darkness above him, a structural creaking and groaning echoed.

Ghastly turned his head painfully to the left. Many meters away, a stone wall rose from the floor and then faded from view. A torn tarp flapped, high up, and Ghastly glimpsed a starry night sky through it. He was above ground, then.  
He craned his neck to the right. Erskine Ravel was staring back at him from a mere meter away.

"Bloody hell!" roared Ghastly. He jerked and was rewarded with a painful jolt from his bonds.

Erskine barked with laughter. "That was almost worth it for all the time I spent waiting for you to wake up."

"Flipping...you...Ravel," grunted Ghastly in anger. "Can't you concentrate on what the issue we're dealing with right now is?"

Ravel's expression sobered instantly. "I know, I know." He looked up at the ceiling in disbelief and rage. "Whoever that woman was...when I get my hands around her throat-"

"Mr. Ravel, I'd love to assist you in living out your fantasy, but to be honest I'm a little busy at the moment, and secondly, it's more likely that the roles will be reversed if that ever comes to pass."

Heels slowly tapped on the stones and reverberated around the space as the woman walked slowly, deliberately towards the two men lying tied on the ground.

Ravel twisted to try and find her in his field of vision.

"Really, I thought that you two would have been harder to snatch, given your reputation, but your struggle was..." she crouched by Ghastly's head "...disappointingly weak." A manicured fingernail traced a scar and slid down, across his face. He flinched away, and, looking to find her face, glanced upwards. He was confronted with a glimpse of her spandex-clad inner thighs, and quickly averted his eyes. She laughed and stood up to walk in front of them.

"So," she drawled. "Let me just start by saying something." She stepped towards them. "You two are completely unfit to run this country. Only Mist can do that, of you three." She shifted her gaze upwards. "The mistakes you make cost so, so many lives. Angering the American Sanctuary...you fools." The woman angrily flipped her hair. "And so, I, in conjunction with another whom you may know, have made a plan to fix this." She grinned happily. "Don't you just love this setting, by the way? We're in a clock tower, in case you couldn't tell."

Ghastly thought he could make out the vague outline of bells in the murkiness above him.

"The best things seem to happen in clock towers," she continued. "Winston and Julia; Todd and Viola. Up above the whole city, with a beautiful view to watch while you scream." The woman gave another cherubic smile. Her dimpled insanity gave Ghastly chills up and down. He tensed up as she suddenly dropped to her knees by his side.

"Oh, I've been so rude," she apologized. Her hands went to his shirt collar and he stiffened his shoulders, trying to shrink from her touch. "My name's Evanesce, Evanesce Luez." She gripped his shirt, and with one tug, tore away the whole collar. Erskine gasped a little, and Ghastly felt anger flood his body.

Evanescence pivoted on the balls of her high-heel-clad feet, and ripped Erskine's shirt as well.

"Aren't you just _so_ happy that Tipstaff was kind enough to get your names embroidered on your shirts?" She rolled her eyes.

Ravel cursed mentally. Whatever was about to happen involved some kind of identification process, and whatever that meant was not good. Evanescence moved to a black canvas bag in corner, and pulled out a knife. Ravel cried out softly. She laughed. "Relax, I'm not going to stab you...yet."

She swept the blade across his bicep, and he grunted. A dark stain spread across the white piece of his shirt in Evanescence's hand as she pressed the fabric to the wound.

"Now, all we need is to tie a pretty little bow around your funeral flowers and ship 'em off."

* * *

Valkyrie opened her eyes slowly. As she blinked to orient herself, she listened to the sounds around her. A heart monitor beeped quietly. Temperature control whirred. A person standing near her shifted; Valkyrie could hear the rumpling of scrubs.

"Miss Cain?"

She squinted at the young man.

"Hi."

Valkyrie exhaled. The medical van. Still.

"How are you feeling?"  
"Meh." Her voice sounded dry and soft.

"She's fine," the male nurse relayed to a Sanctuary official standing at the back door of the van.

Valkyrie struggled to sit up. The man in scrubs looked a little panicked.  
"Um, Miss, if you wouldn't mind taking it slowly. Please be careful. Your injuries are quite extensive. Miss!"

Valkyrie ignored him. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and gasped at the pain.

The nurse was still bleating at her.

"Relax. I'm not planning on going any farther than this." She grinned wryly, and then glanced at the Sanctuary official sharply.

He had pulled out a mobile phone and was pressing it to his ear.

Her pulse sped up.

No.

Please no.

"Good afternoon, Detective Pleasant."

Valkyrie cried out hoarsely.

The nurse reached out to her in concern.

She shoved his hands away and lunged off the bed. The IV ripped from her vein painfully, but she didn't stop.

The man was calling Skulduggery.

No.

Valkyrie leapt from the open doors of the van to the pavement below. The two men yelled in surprise, and she sucked in cold air, stifling a yelp as she absorbed the impact of landing. Then she took off, dashing down the sidewalk for the main street. Her bare feet - yet again - slapped on the concrete as she rounded the corner.

Away.

She needed to get away.

Valkyrie's white hospital top and trousers flapped in the wind as she cast about desperately for a taxi.

She spotted one, just pulling in to the side of the road, and sprinted towards it, throwing herself into the back seat as her pursuers came into view.

"Drive!" she shrieked at the cabbie as a sudden claustrophobia overtook her. He stepped on the gas with a look of fear as Valkyrie bent her head between her knees and moaned.

* * *

Valkyrie stepped out of the cab in front of Gordon's mansion. Without even waiting for his fare, the driver sped off, all too eager to put some distance between himself and the loony.

She smiled humorlessly as she opened a side window and crawled inside. Her whole body ached and shook, and Valkyrie nearly collapsed on the floor as she swung herself over the windowsill.

Leaning against walls and gripping doorframes, she padded to the downstairs bedroom. Thank god she had decided to leave some clothing here, Valkyrie thought as she opened the closet and grabbed the first pieces she saw. She had to sit down on the bed to pull everything on, and the effort left her trembling and weak.

She lay back on top of the covers and closed her eyes, utterly spent.

The landline rung.

"Damn." Valkyrie groped for it with her eyes half-closed. "Hello?"

"I heard you were in the area, and I thought I'd pop by to say hi," whispered a velvety voice.

She hung up.

The phone rang again.

"No. You're going to leave me alone, Skulduggery," she mumbled.

"Actually, I'm not," came a voice from beneath her. Skulduggery rolled out from under the bed, and Valkyrie screamed.

"Shh." He dropped onto the bed beside her, pinning her efforts to escape with a hand on her stomach.

"Now. Why are you trying to avoid me?"

* * *

**LAST STAND OF DEAD MEN IS SITTING NEXT TO MY COMPUTER KEYBOARD! I CAN FINALLY TOUCH IT! I CAN READ IT! AHHHH!**

**Well. Hope you enjoy this chapter(:**

**psst...if you're rereading...I just fixed this chapter...the criminal's name was wrong here...lol hope no one noticed...sneaky...**


	7. Funeral Flowers

Valkyrie shut her eyes tightly and turned her head to the side, away from Skulduggery. She lay still and said nothing, using all of her energy simply to still her own trembling.

Skulduggery waited patiently, waiting for her to speak. He let the pressure off of her stomach as soon as he was sure she wasn't going to try and escape. Valkyrie turned onto her side, back to him. He heard her small, stifled breath of pain. Skulduggery softly laid a hand on her shoulder.

Valkyrie face knotted up as she tried to stop the tears welling up behind her eyelids from falling. He was so tender, so sensitive and gentle. Yet Skulduggery didn't crowd her; he knew not to get to close yet; he understood that she couldn't bear to be touched yet. And so they lay like that, with his skeletal fingers barely massaging her shoulder.

"Valkyrie..."

She tensed up.

"Please. I can help you. Don't shut me out."

Valkyrie shrugged off his hand, and it fell onto the bed between them. The space that separated them stretched out, becoming miles. He didn't know, he couldn't possibly know what this felt like.

"I just need you to tell me-"

"Why?" she burst out. "Why do you need to know? Is it so crucial that I relive every moment of it?" She couldn't stop herself now, the anger and hurt and confusion were all tumbling out now, congealing into an unstoppable wave. They streamed from her every orifice and began cresting over Skulduggery's head, just searching for a way to be free of her mind.

She rolled over and sat bolt upright, eyes blazing. "Do you want me to tell you how he drugged me and dumped me in his bed? How he pinned me down, kissed me until I was suffocating, and then whispered my name over and over? How he told me he loved me even as I was screaming in agony?" Valkyrie's hair drifted like a cloud around her, unconscious shadows swarming and coagulating about her stiff body. "Do you want to know about the bruises and the stress fractures? That everything smells like him and I can't get away from it?" Her voice cracked. "That I couldn't bear to see you because I knew that you would know, right when you looked into my eyes?"

She gulped in air and clamped her hand over her mouth. Her chest heaved.

Skulduggery was sitting up now too, he looked at her, stared deep into her eyes.

And then suddenly they were embracing, holding each other so tightly that it hurt, his hands desperately caressing her back, her arm locked about his skeletal frame, her folded knees slipped between his. His breath hitched in her ear as she clung to him for dear life and sobbed into his suit's shoulder, mouth open in a silent scream as she fought for breath against the torrent of tears soaking Skulduggery's jacket.

* * *

Valkyrie breathed in and out slowly. She felt fragile and empty; it had been years since she'd cried that hard.

Sighing, she curled her arm in closer, bringing Skulduggery's along. Their hands were entwined, pulled tight to her body. He lay behind her, and she could feel every bone against her. Valkyrie smiled slightly, and arched her back in a stretch.

Skulduggery lifted his head as she reluctantly rolled over, breaking their contact, but retaining her grip on his hand.

"Morning," he said softly.

"Morning," she returned.

He got off of the bed and carefully pulled her up with him. Valkyrie yawned, and when Skulduggery was sure she had regained her balance, he released her and stepped away to shrug on his coat and pick up his hat from the bedside table.  
Valkyrie watched his graceful movements intently, studying the elegant way his hands flexed and curled as he straightened his tie and suit. She'd never before noticed how fluidly he could change from position to position, effortlessly impressing her.

"What?" he asked, a smile in his voice.

Valkyrie smiled and shrugged. "Just watching." She took a step from her standing position and swayed, moaning at the sudden jabs of pain that sprang up seemingly everywhere.

Instantly Skulduggery was at her side, hand at her elbow and around her waist.

"Woah." Valkyrie closed her eyes against the sudden dizziness. "I'm good. Just got a little woozy." She smiled and started walking to the kitchen. Skulduggery followed her closely, wary of any more episodes of balance-loss.

"So." Valkyrie walked to the cabinet and reached for a plate. Skulduggery stopped her with a glance and a hand on her arm.

"Go, sit, I'll get it for you."

She obediently shuffled to the island and pulled out a stool.

"I assume you're about to ask me about what happened while you weren't around. Which, by the way, is an incredibly selfless thing to ask, and given the fact that you're smiling right now, I guessed right, _and_ I also managed to flatter you."

"There _is_ a reason you're the best."

"Indeed there is. Did I ever tell you that story about the orphanage- "

Valkyrie groaned. Immediately, Skulduggery was at her side, fingers probing her body with concern. "Are you okay? Where does it hurt?"

Laughing, she pushed him away gently. He cocked his skull in confusion.

"I'm going to collapse of a stroke if you tell that story one more time," she grinned.

Skulduggery relaxed and returned his attention to making toast for her. "But it was _ever_ so exciting."

Valkyrie mimicked choking noises and he chortled, sunlight streaming through the windows to cast valleys and ridges of shadow and light on his back.

* * *

Tipstaff paced anxiously about the lobby of the Sanctuary, dodging its numerous columns as he walked. There were too many to be structurally helpful, and they just seemed to darken and lower the place even more than what the concrete and shadows did. Another pillar reared up in front of him, and Tipstaff lurched to the side, suppressing a curse.

He should never have taken an eye off of Pleasant. _Of course_ the man was going to disappear when he overheard the call about Valkyrie. Bloody brilliant. Now he was left with two missing Elders and two missing Detectives. Tipstaff didn't bother to restrain his language as frustrated kick to the wall resulted in a stubbed toe. As was he hopping about on one foot and massaging his aching foot, a voice came from behind him.

"Having a problem, Administrator?"

Skulduggery's satiny voice spooked Tipstaff, and he yelled and careened into yet another damn column. He clutched his head and shifted his weight to his left leg to see Valkyrie Cain step from the shadows behind Skulduggery.

Tipstaff hobbled forward to greet her. "Welcome back, Detective."

She smiled a little and murmured, "Thanks."

He concernedly noted the dark bags under her eyes coupled with the paleness of her skin as they stepped into the relative brightness of Ghastly's office.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie both stopped as one. "Um, was that there before?"

Tipstaff pivoted slowly to gape at the massive arrangement of flowers perched in the very center of the room, extending to nearly every corner.

* * *

Ravel was panicking. He struggled violently against the ropes and panted with exertion.

None of it made any difference to Luez as she painstakingly arranged the multitude of steel tools on the tray balanced on the folding cart. She hummed a little tune, 'Hey, Jude' by the Beatles, as she worked.

Ghastly watched the muscles on his friend's neck stand out as sweat beaded on Ravel's forehead. He glanced at Ghastly with tortured eyes.

Luez finished her humming and selected a tool. A pair of long-handled scissors, wickedly sharp and curved at the end.

"I know I promised you a city view for your screaming, but plans change now that little brat Cain is on the loose again. So you'll understand if I have to deny you that little luxury, won't you?" She gave a little dimpled grin, and squatted down by his head.

Ravel's lips parted and he started to shake with fear.

Luez lowered her eyebrows in concentration and lowered the scissors towards him.

* * *

Skulduggery watched as Valkyrie wandered amidst the wilted flowers. Her fingers gently brushed over their drooping heads, and a few petals floated to the floor by her feet.

She wore his coat with a pair of stretchy black sweatpants, and her hair hung long and straight down her back. Valkyrie leaned in to smell a pale rose, and grimaced a stench of rot filled the air. He fingered the strand that was tied about his wrist, and let his mind drift.

Caelan.

The vampire should have been dead. The seawater should have killed that monster, sent him to the depths of the quay to mold. Instead, he had returned to torture Valkyrie, in the worst way possible. Skulduggery's bones vibrated with rage as he thought of the revolting things Caelan had done to Valkyrie.

A hand touched his shoulder. "Hey," said Valkyrie. "You were all zoned out and creepy."

Skulduggery shook himself to clear his head. Valkyrie was holding the rose out to him. "Look at it. Here."

He turned the rose in his fingers and studied the objects tied about its thorny stem. Two pieces of torn fabric, bloodstained and knotted. A monochromatic, beautifully ornate piece of paper with the words 'To the Memory Of' printed on it.

He cursed and undid the bloody material. "Ghastly and Ravel."

Valkyrie looked at him. "Funeral flowers."

* * *

**The legend continues. The plots converge. The tensions build...aaaand no. Never mind. Hope you like (:**

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**And yew guysssssss...27 reviews! Wow! Thanks! xoxoxoxo's to errybuddy :3**


	8. Blood

"NO!" Skulduggery roared, and slammed his fists down onto the table. The crack of bone against wood reverberated around the now-silent room. All eyes turned to stare at his shadowy skull as he straightened up.

"No," he repeated more quietly. "I won't let it happen."

Valkyrie made her way through the crowd to his side, and grasped his arm. She gently tugged him away, and spoke softly. "It's the only way. I have to."

Skulduggery's jaw clenched. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.

"Do you want to get Ghastly and Ravel back or not?"

"We can't use you as bait-"

"Skulduggery. Stop. Don't you get it? _There's no other solution._ We need a link to Luez. Caelan is the only option."

He looked away, but she brought her hand to his chin, and turned him back to face her. "You've got my back. It's all cool." Her smile didn't reach her dark and terrified eyes. Skulduggery battled the overwhelming and bizarre urge to kiss her. Valkyrie turned to the crowd and began to speak, and as he watched her lips, her words began to melt away. Nothing mattered; Skulduggery could just stand here and watch her for eternity.

* * *

Valkyrie felt Skulduggery's gaze on her as she explained to the group of mages what would be necessary. She quickly described the link between Caelan and Luez, as partners in crime.

"But what do they want?" a voice in the crowd called out.

Valkyrie took a breath. This would be the tough part. She wanted to turn and run, rather than describe this complicated message. "We believe that Evanesce Luez wishes to remove the Elders from our council, excepting Madam Mist, and we are concerned about the possibility of their death. Luez has been working with a vampire some of you may be familiar with, and we are going to use him as a link to reach her."

Valkyrie continued to explain the plan, leaving out one crucial fact: why she herself would be able to draw Caelan in.

* * *

Skulduggery watched Valkyrie's hand tremble from across the room as she applied mascara, accenting her nearly black eyes. He said nothing; there was nothing that could help.

She slid the wand back into the mascara tube and placed it back on the table. Her eyes met his in the mirror, and Valkyrie's shoulders slumped.

Skulduggery walked over to her and pressed the bundle of clothes into her arms.

"There was no time to try and get new armored clothes for you. I stopped by your house," he muttered.

Valkyrie attempted a smile. "Thanks," she whispered.

They stood, looking at each other, for a long time. The silence was fraught with hints of things not said, of things that could not be said. Finally, Skulduggery moved. He awkwardly placed his hand on her shoulder, and leaned in to press his teeth lightly to her cheek.

"Good luck, Valkyrie."

She looked away. Skulduggery turned and walked from the room.

* * *

"So, remember. Detective Cain will disable Caelan with the help of the Cleavers. After obtaining the information about Luez's whereabouts, she will call Detective Pleasant, who will locate. The Cleavers will join him for a capture mission, and the recovery of Elders Ravel and Bespoke."

The people lining the lobby nodded and applauded as Tipstaff concluded with the plan summary.

Valkyrie, Skulduggery, and the Cleavers stood straight and silent, not partaking in the enthusiasm.

"And the best of wishes to our detectives and Cleavers," Tipstaff announced.  
Skulduggery inclined his head in acknowledgment, and led the others out of the Sanctuary.

As soon as they got outside the group split without another glance at each other.  
Skulduggery slid into the Bentley and shut the door. He took a moment to reflexively glance at the passenger seat, then buckled up and started the powerful engine.

* * *

Valkyrie stepped from the Cleaver van and walked out into the same town that she had fled barely thirty-six hours ago. The cold wind tore across the shuttered windows of the buildings that she passed. Her boots cracked deafeningly as they broke through the ice that accumulated in every dip in the road, every crack and space between cobblestones. Valkyrie crossed her arms over herself and tried to shake off the cold that was leaching under her skin.

She arrived at the phone booth, that same dismal, peeling-paint, shattered-glass structure. By now, her heart was racing. Caelan had to know she was here. There was no way that he wasn't keeping an eye on this village. All he needed now was to show himself and she could call in the Cleavers.

Somewhere behind her, a billow of sound rose. An explosion.

Before Valkyrie could even wonder what it was, _he_ appeared. Clad in dark trousers and a woolen sweater, Caelan stepped out into the plaza across from her. His eyes were locked onto hers, and she froze, feeling like a rabbit in the gaze of a wolf.

Valkyrie fumbled for her mobile and punched in the number for the Cleavers. It rang. No one answered.

She glanced, let out an involuntary cry, and cursed. Caelan was sprinting now, closing the distance between them impossibly quickly. The mobile dropped from Valkyrie's hand and she dipped into her coat pocket for the syringe.

Where were the Cleavers? Why weren't they answering?

_Dammit. _The explosion.

Her heart rate accelerated, and cold sweat broke out on her forehead. She tightened her grip on the glass barrel of the serum to subdue the vampire within. Caelan had slowed, and now strode through the snow towards her.

"My love," he purred.

Valkyrie's gorge rose. "Don't you dare call me that, you sick monster," she hissed.

Caelan threw his head back and laughed. "You didn't seem to mind when we were in bed."

"Shut up," Valkyrie growled.

"In fact, I think you actually-"

"I said SHUT UP!" She lunged, whipping the syringe at him. It hissed through the air and stuck into Caelan's bicep, immediately deploying its load into his body.

"Oh, Valkyrie," he sighed, slowly pulling the needle out with his thumb and finger, "that won't make a difference now. You see, I wasn't planning on letting the creature inside of me out anyways. This quarrel is between you and me. I suppose I've just been deluding myself since the start. Even when you tried to kill me, I still believed that deep down, you loved me too. I did my utmost, and yet we come to the same situation again. You don't love me. I know that now. So I have taken what I always wanted from you, and there's nothing left between us anymore."

Valkyrie clicked her fingers and a fireball ignited in her palm. She hurled it at Caelan. He blurred, moving out of the way faster than the eye could follow. Instinctively, she flung a barrage of sharpened shadows at him. None struck, but she kept moving, rotating into a roundhouse kick that connected with bone. Valkyrie whirled the rotation into a vicious punch. The hit drove into Caelan's jawbone. It was like hitting a meter-thick sheet of titanium steel. She felt her knuckles break.

As Caelan pulled her into him, she thought regretfully, _should've used a power slap. Skulduggery taught me better than this_.

"Thought you would have held out for longer than this. To be honest, I'm a little disappointed. Oh well."

His arms pinned her tightly, and his legs tucked around hers. She was immobilized.  
"I'm sorry about this, dearest. But some things just have to be done."

Caelan lowered his lips to her neck tenderly. Valkyrie screamed and twisted as his teeth began to burrow into the flesh, searching for her jugular. She could feel the blood gushing from her neck, feel the weakness setting in to her limbs as her life-fluid drained away. Her head collapsed to the side.

Caelan withdrew, face smeared with redness. He dropped her and turned, walked away out of her field of vision.

Valkyrie gasped in the snow. She was dizzy, and black spots began to converge in her eyes. As she watched a vermilion stain ebb into the pure, newly fallen snow, she became aware of how thirsty she was.

The burgundy color was spreading. Somebody has spilt their glass on the tablecloth, Valkyrie found herself thinking.

Where was Alice? Shouldn't she be at this dinner party as well? Because here came Skulduggery, dressed to the nines in a wine-colored tuxedo. And now scarlet was oozing down the walls as well, but Valkyrie didn't care, because she was dancing, spinning and spinning, and the floor was taking her in, and she was spiralling away and the dinner party and everyone in it was disappearing as well, and now there was nothing left except black.

* * *

It was ten to four. Valkyrie should have called him by now. Skulduggery checked his phone, yet again. No new messages. He swore angrily and redialed her number, to no avail.

As his finger hovered above the speed dial for the Sanctuary, a movement outside caught his eye.

Shadows. Swirling relentlessly across the face of the abandoned clock tower.

Skulduggery cursed again and leapt out of the Bentley, slamming the door and locking it behind him. He took off sprinting down the street, and dropkicked the moldy wooden door to the tower open. It splintered, and he crashed through it, taking the winding steps behind it two at a time. The dusty gloom of the spiral steps was broken only every few meters by a slit in the stonework. Skulduggery charged through it, feeling the dust motes pass into his skull through his eye sockets, and pushed himself to go faster. Ravel and Ghastly were here. He could feel it.

The top of the steps was blocked by another door, this time with a rusty padlock and chain. He melted through the metal with a searing hot flame, then reached into the back of his trousers for his gun.

Skulduggery burst through the door, shouting a warning, gun belt straight out and clenched with both gloved hands.

Silence greeted him. The dark antechamber revealed nothing but a quiet dripping.  
Something wet splashed on the brim of his hat. Skulduggery looked up.

Suspended above him was the corpse of Ravel. A hole had been torn through his chest, and he had died screaming from the look of abject agony etched into his features. The mutilated remains swung lightly from the chains of the clock equipment.

Skulduggery's body tightened with horror. Another droplet of blood landed on his cheekbone, and slid down like a tear. He gasped in revulsion and tore off, deeper into the building.

It didn't take long to find Ghastly. His body lay folded backwards over a structural beam, spine clearly broken. There was no question of his death.

Uttering little panicked breaths, Skulduggery yanked open his phone and dialed Tipstaff.

A female voice answered. "Enjoying the corpses, Detective? There are plenty more here too. So much blood. And I killed them all. Every single one. I figured that it was time to clean up the justice system. A ritual cleansing; a blood bath. Oh, also, you might want to try calling that partner of yours again. I don't think she'll be picking up though. Have a beautiful day, Mr. Pleasant."

Skulduggery sank to his haunches, shaking.

* * *

**I'm sorry. I pulled a Landy.**

**I think this story might be over now.**


	9. Unseen, Unheard

The windowless motel room was tiny, barely large enough to hold its single bed and nightstand. Skulduggery Pleasant dropped his tattered leather suitcase to the grimy floor and collapsed down on the bed. He was beyond caring about the questionably 'clean' sheets, beyond worries about his suit and tie. His beloved fedora had been lost a few months ago, somewhere in Beijing, in a tangle of sprawled high rises and stacked housing and smog and hawkers.

Skulduggery sat up with a groan, deactivating the facade and fighting against his weary bones. He reached down and tugged up his trouser leg. Some damn agent of the new Sanctuary had clipped his anklebone with a round of gunfire, and the missing shard was sending sharp pulses of pain throughout his body.

He lay back down. Not worth it.

Skulduggery rolled onto his side, pulled his gun from the inside pocket of his torn pinstripe suit, and thumbed back the hammer. He tucked the gun close to his chest, finger on the trigger, and aimed it at the door. He would be ready.

Poised to shoot, paranoid and crazed, exhausted and dangerous, Pleasant let his mind go.

* * *

_She chewed her lip, teeth delicately kneading the skin, like she did when something was on her mind._

Skulduggery gasped and choked, thoughts blocking his airway like seawater: burning and suffocating. He struggled to suck in air and calm down.

His gun was drawn tightly to the side of his skull.

Why not.

What would it feel like?

Could a bullet kill a skeleton?

Could he even bring himself to do that?

God, he missed her so much. It was like a drill bit piercing his sternum; the whine of the electric engine; the curls of bone spiraling away; the stench of burning calcium. _Valkyrie Cain._ Even the name pained him.

He settled his gloved finger on the trigger.

Someone's hand came to rest on his cheekbone.

Skulduggery lashed out behind him, twisting to get his feet under him. He came up pointing the pistol and scanning the room. Nobody. Without lowering the gun, Skulduggery stepped forwards, one hand splayed to read the air. Again, nothing.

But he had felt something on his cheekbone, hadn't he?

Why had he not seen anything, then?

It must just be the exhaustion. Skulduggery cautiously laid down his weapon and settled on the bed again. Something small crawled beneath the sheets in front of him. With a sigh, he pushed back the scratchy cotton and flicked the bed bug away. Somewhere deep in his skull, Skulduggery felt a vague disgust, yet couldn't bring himself to act on the feeling. Instead he slid his fingers through the hole in his jacket to his elbow and held onto the bones there, trying to hold himself together.

Again. Those fingers caressing his shoulder.

"I'm insane anyways, aren't I," he said to the emptiness.

The fingers tightened on his arm.

"Why are you here, Valkyrie?" he whispered.

Her form appeared, melting out of a fog, and stood before him. Like a cluster of mist droplets, his former partner's image wavered and drifted, colorless and frail.

Skulduggery's body clenched.

A tear rolled down Valkyrie's pale cheek -

- and he was there, trying to wrap her in a hug, trying to wipe away the tear, but his arms passed through her, and she swirled away like the insubstantial form she inhabited.

As the particles settled and reformed into Valkyrie yet again, Skulduggery staggered back against the bed.

She had been dead for nearly a year now. How was she-

"I never left you," Valkyrie whispered. Her voice was ethereal and quiet, and slightly blurred as if from a radio.

She stepped towards him and bent to kiss his skull. Skulduggery felt a slight pressure. "How can you do this?" he asked.

"Only I can initiate contact between us. It can't be reciprocated."

"No, but how are you even _here_? Why are you here? Why haven't you come to me yet? The world we knew is in tatters, Valkyrie. There's nothing left. China's dead. So is Fletcher. Even Tanith, for god's sake. We needed you. _I_ needed you."

Valkyrie bit hard on her lip and looked down. Skulduggery could see the liquid welling up in her eyes. "There are rules," she mumbled.

"I was all alone. Nobody there for me. I've been on the run for months, chased around the earth by agents of Sanctuaries everywhere. Why did you leave me here?" Anguish leaked from his voice.

"I - I wanted to. I tried. I tried to break the rules, but I was threatened with banishment from where I am now. I couldn't get to you, no matter how I tried. And I could feel it all, all of you pain, your sadness, your loneliness-" Her voice cracked, and wordlessly, Skulduggery held his arms open. Valkyrie crossed the room with a step and curled up on his lap, sobbing with her head resting on his lapels. He cautiously closed his arms around her, and felt slight resistance where her body began. Her barely existent weight rested on him.

Skulduggery breathed in with wonder. Valkyrie was here. With him. Speaking to him. In his arms. She curled closer to him, and Skulduggery turned his head to whisper in her ear.

* * *

When he awoke again, it was to the door splintering inwards. Men and women, clothed in black suits, with fire burning in their hands or electricity crackling through their bodies. Skulduggery sat up slowly, straightened his suit and tie, and held out his hands to be cuffed. His skull tilted slightly.

* * *

The cell was miniscule, even smaller than the motel room he had just been arrested in. He was being held in the Norwegian Sanctuary, but the monotone concrete walls and floors and matching metal bars on the doors meant that it looked like anywhere else.

Valkyrie smiled wanly at him from the bench on the other side of the cell. He angled his skull in return.

"So have you decided yet?" she asked.

"Course. It's not that hard of a decision really."

Valkyrie smiled at him again, this time smaller but utterly sincere.

The guard across the hall looked up suspiciously at the sound of his voice.

Skulduggery ignored him and stretched out his hand to Valkyrie, let her twine their fingers together.

"I missed you, Skulduggery. Watching you was so...hard."

"And I you."

The warden stood up, keys belted at his ample waist clanking, and marched up to the cell. "Who are you talking to, Pleasant? There's no one there. So shut the hell up."

Skulduggery stood to face him, still clasping Valkyrie's invisible hand in his own. "You know, Val, I think I'm ready now."

He turned to look at her, and her dark eyes stared deep into his own. "Are you sure?"

"Oi, I said SHUT IT," barked the guard, and was ignored.

"We never really leave," whispered Valkyrie.

"I'm ready," Skulduggery said quietly. His voice was strong and sure. Valkyrie squeezed his hand and closed her eyes.

"Do you want me to come in there, Pleasant? Because I will. There's no one there, you psychopath. Nobody!"

Skulduggery tilted his skull and saluted the guard with one hand.

The guard's eyes widened with horror and he lunged for the alarm.

It was too late.

Skulduggery's bones collapsed inwards over one another, clattering emptily to the concrete floor.

A breath of wind rushed past the warden.

* * *

**Merp. I guess that's it, guys! Sorry for not updating over the weekend - life just got a little...lifey. Yeahh. So I hope you enjoyed and you won't think I'm too weird for this.**

**Please review, PM me, follow, favorite, etc. etc. I love yous! Thank yous!**


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